Rules are Rules
I’ve received a lot of comments (in person and on Facebook) about my 10-year-old’s escapades with Facebook. One of the biggest points of debate seems to be whether it is appropriate for kids to have a Facebook account at all.
Facebook’s rules state users must be at least 13 years old in order to obtain an account. However, they do nothing to actually verify a user’s age. As such, my daughter was able to change her birthday to make it seem she was 16 years old. When I logged into her account, I found at least ten other girls in her class who also had accounts. Obviously, these girls also changed their birthdates, with or without parental permission.
After I wrote my initial post, I’ve encountered a fair number of parents who have given permission for their kids to “fudge their age” in order to sign up for Facebook. I don’t know whether it is out of desperation (because these kids can certainly be persistent in their demands) or just for lack of understanding (maybe they don’t know about the icky 40-year-old men friending their 10-year-old daughters). In either case, I disagree. Here’s why:
1) Rules are rules, regardless of whether we agree. A good friend said it best when she commented, “if we let our kids break the rules to obtain a Facebook account at age 10, what’s next? How about when they are 15 and decide to take the car out for a joy ride, or 17 and get drunk?” If we teach our kids it’s OK to break some rules now, when the consequences aren’t that harmful, we’re just setting them up to break rules later, when the consequences can be fatal.
2) The risks are real. In just three days of having a Facebook account, multiple older men attempted to friend my 10-year-old. Her profile was not visible to non-friends, but her photo was. Apparently that was enough to cause them to friend her. They didn’t know her, or me, so I have no other choice but to consider them to be predators searching for naive young girls online. Unfortunately, this type of thing will continue to happen (even when she is old enough to actually have a Facebook account) so we, as parents, must teach our kids about the risks and how to deal with them.
3) It exposes them to mature content. Consider a 10-year-old girl who friends the 16-year-old brother of her best friend. She is then exposed to the conversations, photos, and thoughts of a whole slew of kids who are six, seven, maybe eight years older. Would you let your 10-year-old daughter go to an unsupervised party with a bunch of high school juniors and seniors? I suggest allowing them to be friends with those kids on Facebook is much the same.
So… what’s a parent of a tween to do? When your kids outgrow Webkinz, but are too young for Facebook, where do you turn? Thankfully, a safe alternative is about to be unveiled (according to my sources). Stay tuned for the launching of a “Facebook for tweens” next week… (no, I’m not launching a business – it’s just one that I’ve heard is on the horizon).
In the wake of all the
So apparently we in the Maryland area are a bit strange. We do crazy things in the name of raising money for our kids’ schools, their sports teams, and anything else we can think of – all as an excuse to eat, drink, and play games. Having grown up in this area, things like basket bingos and bull roasts are nothing new to me. But any time I meet someone from elsewhere around the country, I am reminded that not everyone parties this way.


