I’ve received a lot of comments (in person and on Facebook) about my 10-year-old’s escapades with Facebook.  One of the biggest points of debate seems to be whether it is appropriate for kids to have a Facebook account at all.

Facebook’s rules state users must be at least 13 years old in order to obtain an account. However, they do nothing to actually verify a user’s age. As such, my daughter was able to change her birthday to make it seem she was 16 years old. When I logged into her account, I found at least ten other girls in her class who also had accounts. Obviously, these girls also changed their birthdates, with or without parental permission.

After I wrote my initial post, I’ve encountered a fair number of parents who have given permission for their kids to “fudge their age” in order to sign up for Facebook. I don’t know whether it is out of desperation (because these kids can certainly be persistent in their demands) or just for lack of understanding (maybe they don’t know about the icky 40-year-old men friending their 10-year-old daughters). In either case, I disagree. Here’s why:

1) Rules are rules, regardless of whether we agree. A good friend said it best when she commented, “if we let our kids break the rules to obtain a Facebook account at age 10, what’s next? How about when they are 15 and decide to take the car out for a joy ride, or 17 and get drunk?” If we teach our kids it’s OK to break some rules now, when the consequences aren’t that harmful, we’re just setting them up to break rules later, when the consequences can be fatal.

2) The risks are real. In just three days of having a Facebook account, multiple older men attempted to friend my 10-year-old. Her profile was not visible to non-friends, but her photo was. Apparently that was enough to cause them to friend her. They didn’t know her, or me, so I have no other choice but to consider them to be predators searching for naive young girls online. Unfortunately, this type of thing will continue to happen (even when she is old enough to actually have a Facebook account) so we, as parents, must teach our kids about the risks and how to deal with them.

3) It exposes them to mature content. Consider a 10-year-old girl who friends the 16-year-old brother of her best friend. She is then exposed to the conversations, photos, and thoughts of a whole slew of kids who are six, seven, maybe eight years older. Would you let your 10-year-old daughter go to an unsupervised party with a bunch of high school juniors and seniors? I suggest allowing them to be friends with those kids on Facebook is much the same.

So… what’s a parent of a tween to do? When your kids outgrow Webkinz, but are too young for Facebook, where do you turn? Thankfully, a safe alternative is about to be unveiled (according to my sources). Stay tuned for the launching of a “Facebook for tweens” next week… (no, I’m not launching a business – it’s just one that I’ve heard is on the horizon).

In the wake of all the email and Facebook hoopla at our house, I have gotten a lot of feedback (both online and offline). One person asked if I was embarrassed to admit that we, being self-proclaimed tech junkies, had a daughter who out-witted us (technically speaking). My answer is simple: I hope our mishap helps other parents learn to *really* pay attention to what their kids are doing online. If we can be duped, so can you!

Our 10-year-old daughter knew we monitored the email on the laptop, so she signed up for a new Gmail account using her iPod Touch over our wireless broadband access. (I must admit I was amazed at just how smart she was to accomplish all this! I see a bright future for her technologically, as long as she uses it for the right purposes.) As I speak to more and more parents about this, I am realizing how many kids trying these types of sneaky tactics… and how many are getting away with it!

Another girl who goes to school with my 5th grader frequently sends us email at 11:30pm… on school nights. When asked, she says she isn’t tired, so she plays on the computer… late at night… in her bedroom. I checked out her Facebook profile. She lied and said she was 16 to get the account. Her picture is cute. Her info says she’s “looking for men.” Her parents have no idea. They don’t have Facebook accounts. They don’t use the Internet much. They don’t realize what their child is doing online, or who she is talking to.

Do you?

I found a “Family Internet Contract” (courtesy of iMom.com) that certainly isn’t going to prevent kids from doing this stuff, but it could help parents have an informed conversation with their kids, hopefully before email and MySpace/Facebook accounts are obtained “on the sly.” Or if you’re like us, and this whole “growing up” thing sort of snuck up on you (i.e., our kids are already heavily online), this contract can be a great way to make sure we’re all on the same page.

I was brushing my hair the other day when it struck me: why am I so dissatisfied with what God has given me? And, at this moment, with my hair color? I started dying it in my late 20s, when I noticed a touch of gray. I immediately instructed my stylist to cover that gray with something fresh and beautiful, and have been doing so ever since. (Isn’t that what all the commercials tell us to do?)

But I had an appointment scheduled for a few days later, and this time I wasn’t just planning on covering the gray, I had actually told my stylist I “wanted something fresh,” because I was bored with my current color. “Maybe some auburn highlights?” I asked. Yes, I do believe those were my exact words. Now that I write them here, they seem a bit hallow.

My small group has just started a series entitled Ten Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health by Donald S. Whitney. The first chapter starts with “Do you thirst for God?” It has me thinking… a lot. Also, last week’s sermon about “Living an Intentional Life“… that has me thinking too. Finally, our book club just read Same Kind of Different as Me (more on that in tomorrow’ post)… and that has me really thinking.

It’s all making me ponder how much of what God has given me I am trying to change. He gave me a wonderful husband, who loves and cares for me and our children. So what if he always leaves his dirty underwear behind the bathroom door. God gave him to me just as he is… why am I trying to change him?

He also gave me the talent for a job I can perform from home, so as to always be available for my kids. Yet, I have this desire for more… more power and prestige in the workforce… something I can’t have by working part-time from home while my kids are in school. I am blessed with what most women would refer to as “the best of both worlds”… so why am I trying to change that?

And then there’s the thing that got me started on this whole topic. It’s the least important of all these things I’m trying to change, yet it was what God used (at least, what He used today) to give me a wake-up call today. It’s my mousy-brown, turning-gray, hair. I’ve hated the color since I was old enough to know I could change it. Isn’t that what causes us all so much trouble—the knowledge there we could have something better? (Not to mention the fact that I could obviously be doing a whole lot more *useful* stuff with the money I’ve spent on changing my hair color.) I’m not saying hair color is everyone’s issue, but it’s definitely one of mine. I think it just points to an underlying current of discontentment in my life.

So I told the stylist I wanted her to color me back to my natural color (yuck), to avoid the whole my-roots-are-showing scene. I’m not in love with it, but I’ll learn to live with it. Or, better put: I’m making the decision to be content with it… for now. I’m kinda hoping God waits until I’m *really* old to turn my hair completely gray… either that or we all get raptured before the gray makes its permanent home on my head. A girl can dream, can’t she?

Oh but in case that doesn’t happen, Proverbs 16:31 offers some encouragement: Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life. Seriously? Well, alrighty then .

So apparently we in the Maryland area are a bit strange. We do crazy things in the name of raising money for our kids’ schools, their sports teams, and anything else we can think of – all as an excuse to eat, drink, and play games. Having grown up in this area, things like basket bingos and bull roasts are nothing new to me. But any time I meet someone from elsewhere around the country, I am reminded that not everyone parties this way.

Last Friday night, my kids’ school had a free family game night. For this particular game night, we played bingo. Seated next to us was a family who recently moved here from the Oregon. The mom commented that in Oregon, bingo is for occupants of retirement homes. Ha – not in Maryland! We love our games.

And lest you’re thinking of bingo being playing in those smoke-filled lodges or VFWs, think again. Basket bingos are typically held in a school cafeteria or church hall, and are definitely smoke free. Each game has a prize in the form of a Longaberger basket filled with various other sundries. (Families and local businesses sponsor each basket and fill them with whatever they wish. Sometimes you get a basket full of Mary Kay products. Other times a family will use a theme like “movie night” and fill the basket with related items.)

Basket bingos typically raise somewhere in the $4,000 – 5,000 range for the organization. Even in this recession, basket bingos held around here typically sell out. My daughters’ school is holding their annual fundraiser bingo on March 12. Tickets are $12, which gets you a stack of cards for the night’s games. There are plenty of other opportunities to drop some cash throughout the night, whether it’s on snacks, bingo dabbers (you mean you don’t have your own?!), or extra cards.

Next on the list of events no one else in the country apparently does is the bull roast. Wikipedia actually has a very brief page dedicated to explaining what this event entails, and then specifies it typically only occurs in the Maryland area. How wonderful that we are famous for this non-stop eating festival! Yes, a bull roast is basically a big all-you-can-eat buffet. You pay around $40 per person to benefit the sponsoring organization. Then you pig out (or is that cow out?) with your friends. My husband particularly loves the slight variation on this called “Bull and Oyster Roast” – he claims he once ate 25 raw oysters at one such event. Ewwww. (Sorry, Wyeth.) These events can raise anywhere from $5,000 – $10,000, depending on the size of the event.

So there you have it. If you’re not from Maryland, I’ve just helped you learn something new. Maybe you could help raise funds for your organization with one of these events? Enjoy .

Over the holidays we received a letter from a missionary family in Nicaragua that made us think. Usually, we read support letters (really we do) and then eventually place them in the circular file… but this one is still on my desk after two months (and that’s not because it got lost under a pile of clutter). I figured I should share the letter to see what you think.

Nicaragua is often mentioned in negative tones. A majority of the population lives on less than $2 per day. Education and health needs are always in a critical state of failure. Our current government has aligned itself with Hugo Chavez and others who are opposed to freedom and liberty. Our roads are full of potholes, fuel prices are high, running a simple errand can be exhausting and one’s car takes a beating here. Personal safety and protection is a major concern when you visit some neighborhoods. All of Managua’s trash is dumped into the lake of it’s own namesake. All of these concerns can lead one to ask, is there any hope? What about the things of God? What of the future? Is there something we can’t see in all of this?

Contrasting the obvious woes of this country with the good things of the United States is an easy task. North American roads are wonderful, well planned and clearly marked. You never see an armed guard stationed outside of a pharmacy or grocery store. Even though the U.S. is in a recession, restaurants are full, football games are sold out and the average salary is really good compared to here. Most lawns are manicured, each home has running water and indoor plumbing, lots of food in the pantry, the freezer is full and the electrical grid is stable. The average family has two cars. In general, everything is very organized. Leading one to think, these people have the kingdom of God! But, is there something lacking in all of these good things?

This leads to a concluding question, which country is more spiritually free? Nicaragua has voted consistently to keep abortion illegal – it is considered murder here. Each September, the Day of the Bible is celebrated. There are many parades and public readings of the Holy Scriptures – Genesis through Revelation. Easter is our most cherished holiday! Businesses and schools are prayed over for God’s blessings. If you took a poll on the street asking the question, “Who is Lord?” The overwhelming reply would be Jesus Christ.

In North America the Bible has been taken out of schools and special permits are needed to even talk about God in schools and in the workplace. Abortion is America’s holocaust and is the slaughter of the innocents. Christians have been forced to keep their religion private. If you went to a local mall and asked the question, “Who is Lord?” I would imagine for every ten questions you would get ten different answers.

Maybe part of the answer to this dichotomy could be that even though North America seems to have the physical aspects of the kingdom of God, they have forgotten their King! Nicaragua, a nation battered, bruised and classified as a third-world country, but she still remembers her King. In this there is much hope for this nation. The future belongs to the people of God.

- The Buzbee Family