Wendy Willard

“If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” Ecclesiastes 4:10 

As little girls, we love to list off our best friends to anyone who will listen. We swap Halloween candy and stickers, then later makeup and gossip. As we grow up, we spend countless hours sharing tears and laughter with those women we dare to call our best friends.

This week I found out one of my best friends is moving 2000 miles away. I knew this might happen because her husband is in a career (music) that often requires job changes and moves. When she called to say she had to come talk to me (in person, without the kids), I knew it was serious. By the time she showed up, I took one look at her and blurted out, “You’re moving. To Colorado. For a new job.” She replied, “yup.” I then tried very very hard (not succeeding much) to be happy for this fabulous opportunity given to my friend (it really is a great opportunity)… even though it means we’ll be living so far away from each other.

All this got me thinking about how much women rely on close friendships to get through all sorts of twists and turns. In fact, recent studies have proven to what extent we need each other in times of trouble. Remember that old “flight or fright” concept? Turns out it’s really only true for men. By contrast, women tend to want to nurture and commune when dealing with stress. We clean our houses, bake (or buy) some brownies, then eat them all while sharing the gory details with other women. (OK, I’m making major generalizations, but hopefully you know what I mean.)

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that my friendships fall into several different categories. Depending on where life takes us, the friends in some of these categories tend to come and go from our lives fairly frequently. For example, I have:

• friends from church (women who share my faith),
• friends from school (women who share my history),
• friends who are my kids’ friends’ moms (women who share my parenting style/interests),
• friends from work (women who share my passion), and
• friends from life circumstances (women who share my experiences).

And then I have a certain few friends who fit into 3, 4, or maybe even all of those categories. These are the holy grail of friendships, the tried and true, the best of the best. For me, there have been women in my life who have not only fit into all four of those categories, but also one final group – friends who just are.

These BFFs know us better than anyone else, even if (God forbid) we haven’t seen each other in weeks or months. They know our weaknesses and strengths (plus our husband’s weaknesses and strengths ), and never use either against us. These are the women who tell us what we need to hear, even if we don’t want to hear it. Together, we just click. They are people who will be in our lives in one way, shape, or form forever. These are our best friends.

This blog post is dedicated to the wonderful women I am privileged to call my friends.

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” 3 John 1:2